Saturday, May 24, 2008

Day 83: Monty Mole

My friend, the only confirmed regular reader of this blog, was recently robbed. Burglars broke into his home and stole his Xbox 360, Wii and his girlfriend's jewelery. They also stole his computer. Now, thanks to some selfish teenagers probably upset because their mommies wouldn't buy them 360s of their own, I've been spending the last couple of days fighting the urge to write nasty messages to them through the stolen Wii while blogging to no one but myself. You might argue that a real writer writes for himself, not for his audience, but real writers aren't the ones who get multi-million dollar movie deals.

Since we're on the subject of being violated, let's talk a little about Monty Mole, a game that violated me repeatedly. It violated me visually with its butt ugly graphics. This game is harder to look at than a bearded lady with burn scars and a booger hanging out of her nose. It steadfastly refuses to be any fun at all to play. Everything is stiff and it's impossible to go anywhere without taking some damage. Even the simple act of walking apparently cause poor Monty excruciating pain.

I don't normally condone torture, but I hope that the police find the kids who broke into my friend's house and sit them down in front of this misshapen beast until they repent for every sin they've committed in their short worthless lives.

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