Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Day 66: Summer Sports - Paradise Island

Dear Digital Embryo,

I have Wii Sports. It came with my Wii. Therefore, I have no need for your half assed collection of quote-unquote sports. Thank you anyway.

Unless you're 70 or older, I don't imagine playing croquet, lawn darts and horseshoes is your idea of paradise. Basketball does appear on the menu. Twice. But there is no actual basketball. Not even 21. Just horse, around the world and shot clock, which can all be played in two different locations. Volleyball, badminton and mini golf round out the collection, with only mini golf even approaching playability.

The motion controls are unresponsive, the animation is stiff and the menus are prettier than the actual games. Each game must be played by four people, so unless you have three friends you don't mind losing, most of the game is spent watching three computer controlled players, slowing down an already slow experience.

If this is a party game, I recommend saving it for the end of the party, when you want everyone to go home so you can go to bed.

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