Day 101: Geometry Wars Galaxies

I am continually amazed by Circuit City's ability to remain in business. Whenever I go there, I'm the only customer in the store, and I rarely end up actually buying anything. I assume everyone else is frightened off by the awkward layout, made worse by a recent reorganization of the store, and the poor customer service. On my last trip, I took my merchandise to a podium located in the geographic center of the store, marked with a large sign that read "Checkout" and was told to go to the desk marked "Returns." I fully expected to be sent right back, or to have the full purchase price of the item returned to me.


I was almost disappointed when the cashier rang up my copy of Geometry Wars Galaxies, clearance priced at seventeen dollars. At least now I'd finally get to see what all the hooplah was about. Not owning an Xbox 360 (I see no reason to pay 400 dollars for something that's jst going to stop working in a year), I never got to play the original Geometry Wars. The original "Retro Evolved" version of the game is on the Wii disc, along with the new "Galaxies," which is essentially the exact same game but with the added need to "unlock" things.

Geometry Wars is a good shooter, but it's no the best out there. It's not even as good as the classic games it's modeled after. The addition of levels and power ups to unlock adds nothing in my opinion (I think I've already mentioned somewhere how sick I am of having to "buy" half the features of any new game), but the score multiplier is a nice way to reward longevity and really boost scores. If I had paid full retail price for Galaxies, I would have been disappointed, but for 17 bucks, it's hard to go wrong.

Day 90: Boom Blox

I would gladly pay twenty, even thirty dollars for Boom Blox. But, since it's a fifty dollar game, and fifty dollars is a lot to spend on what is essentially a carnie game without the slimy barker and the prizes that are impossible to win, I'll just rent it for now. It's not like Steven Spielberg is hurting for the money. And what exactly makes this a "Steven Spielberg Game"? Did he just throw a bunch of money at it to make it happen or what?


The premise is incredibly simple. Throw baseballs at stuff to knock it over. The trick, of course, is to throw a baseball in the right place to create the chain reaction that will make everything fall over. Getting to fake throw with the Wiimote once per level may be "winning," but it doesn't exactly add up to a lot of fun.

That's why I prefer the battle mode. Two players. Two castles made of blocks. Bowling balls. Each player starts with three balls and starts bombarding the other player's castle, earning more balls for doing more damage until someone's fortress is leveled.

The single player puzzles a clever and entertaining, but the real gold here is in the party modes. Invite some friends over and throw balls at each other. Maybe leave the Wii turned off.

Day 87: Dr. Mario Online Rx

In the twenty or so years since Tetris first burst onto the scene, it seems like every puzzle game has either undergone a 3-D makeover or accepted a Pokemon takeover in order to stay alive. Not Dr. Mario. Dr. Mario Online Rx is the same pill-tossin', germ-killin' game the original Dr. Mario was back in 1990.


The new WiiWare Dr. Mario features the classic game as well as the flash mode from Dr. Mario 64 and Virus Buster mode, which uses the Wiimote as a pointer and allows up to four players. The major addition in the new version is the ability to play against others online.

As with Mario Kart, players are given a Vs. Ranking based on their performance and paired up with opponents of similar rank. The online battles themselves are a race to clear the level of the same 20 germs. Perhaps in response to complaints about the inability to communicate with other players in Smash Bros. and Mario Kart, Nintendo has included six preset phrases which may be used after a match. These include "good game," "you got me" and the always devastating "neener neener."


Nintendo did the right thing sticking with the classic gameplay. The online play doesn't add much to the experience though. There's very little interaction between the two halves of the screen. The Miis, cute as ever in their little lab coats, just strike poses. Causing extra objects to fall on the opponents screen happens rarely and I've never seen more that two blocks at a time fall. Most of the time I'm only vaguely aware there's even someone else over there.

The best thing about Dr. Mario Online Rx is that it's a ten dollar WiiWare download rather than a fifty dollar game.

Day 80: Wii Fit

Some guy at Target tried to pull me into his scheme to sell Wii Fit online. I think. I guess he could have been stocking up to give them as gifts, but that seems a lot less likely. He approached me at the display and told me the store only allowed the purchase of two games, hen offered me his credit card to use to buy him two more. I declined. Not only do I detest the practice of buying something out from under someone only to sell it to them later at a markup, but I would have been at the two game limit and thus unable to get a copy for myself.

The centerpiece of the Wii Fit package is the Wii Balance Board.


Oops, that's the Atari Joyboard. The centerpiece of Wii Fit is the Wii Balance Board.


Part bathroom scale, part Power Pad, the Balance Board is the large pressure sensitive controller you stand on while making an ass of yourself trying to make your Mii ski through a slalom course. I won't bore you with the details, since plenty of other websites have been doing that since late last year when Wii Fit was first announced.


Wii Fit offers a nice selection of strength and aerobic exercises as well as yoga and balance games and keeps players motivated by offering more games and exercises to unlock as well as letting them set weight loss or maintenance goals.

My major beef with Wii Fit is the heavy emphasis it places on balance, and apparently mine is atrocious. The "Wii Fit Age" is determined entirely by my preformance in two randomly selected balancing activites, paying no attention to my good showings in the strength and aerobic activities.


Wii Fit also allows me to log any activities I do away from the game, turning it into an ninety dollar exercise diary. It's a nice touch, but there doesn't seem to be much point since the hour I spent on my bike this morning, half of that riding into a strong Kansas headwind, counted for nothing towards unlocking any new activities as far as I can tell. Also, I don't enter what I actually did, only that it was light, normal or heavy activity. Some examples of light activity include cooking and laundry. Gardening is a normal activity. I'm not sure where blogging would fall.

Overall I'm pleased with Wii Fit though. It's cheaper and more private than joining a gym and more interactive than Sweatin' to the Oldies. Oh, dude, I gotta go make a Richard Simmons Mii now.

Day 73: TV Show King

This being the first round of WiiWare releases, and givent he quality of the budget titles released for the Wii to this date, I wasn't sure what to expect from TV Show King. Would I be getting something fun to play with my girlfriend, or would I spend the next few days wishing I'd used those 1,000 Wii Points on Pokemon Puzzle League?


It turns out that TV Show King is a pretty good trivia game. Most of the game is played as a straightforward multiple choice quiz against three opponents, either human or computer controlled. The computer opponents aren't very bright, but they can make up for that with the wheel.


The wheel is what makes TV Show King. After each round, contestants are given the option to spin the wheel for a chance to double their money, swap with another player or possibly lose it all. The smart move would probably be to pass, but the prospect of changing the entire game with a flick of the Wiimote is hard to ignore.


Each game ends with a duel round, with the top two players facing off for a chance to win half of the other's money. Essentially, the first to answer five questions wins the entire game, unless the other player had built up a huge, Ken Jennings-esque lead.

There's a one player trivia mode in which players can try to anwers as many questions in a row without missing, but TV Show King is meant to be played with other humans. The presentation is excellent, capturing the look and feel of a TV game show with the smarmy host, busty assistant and an audience full of Miis that clap for anything. If you like trivia at all, you can't really go wrong with this one.

Day 66: Summer Sports - Paradise Island

Dear Digital Embryo,

I have Wii Sports. It came with my Wii. Therefore, I have no need for your half assed collection of quote-unquote sports. Thank you anyway.


Unless you're 70 or older, I don't imagine playing croquet, lawn darts and horseshoes is your idea of paradise. Basketball does appear on the menu. Twice. But there is no actual basketball. Not even 21. Just horse, around the world and shot clock, which can all be played in two different locations. Volleyball, badminton and mini golf round out the collection, with only mini golf even approaching playability.

The motion controls are unresponsive, the animation is stiff and the menus are prettier than the actual games. Each game must be played by four people, so unless you have three friends you don't mind losing, most of the game is spent watching three computer controlled players, slowing down an already slow experience.

If this is a party game, I recommend saving it for the end of the party, when you want everyone to go home so you can go to bed.

Day 56: Mario Kart Wii

Nothing I have to say about Mario Kart Wii could possibly add to what literally thousands of other people have already said about Mario Kart Wii, so instead of wasting my time and yours by trying, I'm just going to play some more. See you tomorrow.

Day 38: Sega Superstars Tennis

Y'know, outside of Sonic, Sega doesn't really have any superstars. Even his supporting cast are at best minor stars. Sort of the Robin Venturas of video games. The severe drop in name recognition from Sonic the Hedgehog to Jet Set Radio explains why over a quarter of the characters in Sega Superstars Tennis are from the Sonic franchise.


This shot shows Sonic playing against a monkey in a sombrero. They're two of the characters you start with, but by winning the right tournaments you can unlock a chick on rollerblades, a chick in a blue miniskirt and that dwarf from Golden Axe. You remember that game, right? If you had a Genesis back in the day, you might have played it a couple of times when you wanted a break from Sonic and Madden.


I mean, a lot of people have heard of Space Channel 5 and Nights Into Dreams, but how many have actually played them, much less could name a character from them. Yeah, OK, whatever. You knew a guy who knew a guy who had a Master System back in the fifth grade and one time you went to his house and played Alex Kidd in Miracle World. You're sooooo cool.

Honestly, I could have just waited for the new Mario Tennis. They are making one, right? I would have much rather seen Sega make a new Jet Set Radio or Samba de Amigo game (which apparently really is in the works). I'd happily bide my time playing either one of those instead of a watered down tennis sim that doesn't even have Knuckles in it.

Day 23: MLB 2K8 Donkey Kong Barrel Blast

The Nintendo Wii is tailor-made for baseball, so I was excited to learn that, a year and a half after its launch, someone had made the first real baseball sim for it. Even if that someone was 2K Sports, a company whose understanding of baseball is roughly on par with my understanding of quantum mechanics. Admittedly, I haven't actually played a baseball game from 2K since World Series Baseball 2K1 on the Dreamcast, but that game was so abysmal that seven years might not have been enough time to fix it.

But the only copy of Major League Baseball 2K8 at my local Blockbuster had some sticky residue on the disc and wouldn't load. And that's how I ended up with Donkey Kong Barrel Blast.


If you played Diddy Kong Racing on the Nintendo 64, you might remember it as not quite Mario Kart. Or you might not remember it at all. I guess that's what happens when the primary purpose of a game is to pimp characters getting their own games soon (Banjo and Conker).

Ten years from now I'll probably have vague memories of Donkey Kong Barrel Blast similar to the vague memories I have of Diddy Kong Racing. It looks pretty, but it's not quite Mario Kart. And the novelty of the control scheme, simulating pounding on barrels strapped to the racers' waists by shaking the wiimote and nunchuk, wore off as the carpal tunnel began creeping into my wrists.

Not that the controls are important. The monkeys follow the track on their own. Once I got up to top speed, there wasn't much left to do but coast to the finish line. Sort of like the programmers did when they made this game.