I had a strange dream last night. Aerosmith was preforming at my house, but for some reason Steven Tyler wouldn't sing. He just stood there while the bassist sang instead. After the set, they all decided they wanted some popcorn. I went to the kitchen to make some but my popcorn popper kept shooting out ice instead of popcorn, which was somehow the fault of one of my coworkers.
I wanted to tell you about my dream because I would rather do that than once again describe the incredible amounts of badness stuffed into one tiny Action 52 game.
Alfred, presumably, is the name of the little chef who marches through his infinitely large kitchen whacking giant noodly things with his giant spoon. Occasionally Alfredo has to leap over a very small hole in the floor. The same scenery loops endlessly in the background while noodly things appear at pretty regular intervals (and occasionally disappear due to what I'm going to say is a programming glitch because I'm not feeling creative enough this morning to create another reason).
The most interesting thing about Alfredo is that rather than the more standard three or five lives, it gives you two. How sad is it that the most noteworthy thing about a game is the number of lives it gives you?