Sunday, May 18, 2008

Day 77: Chromatron

There's something to be said for making an entire video game using just four images and a few lines. That something is "You lazy bastard!" Look, buddy, this isn't 1979. No one wants to play your clever little thinky think game. They want stuff to blow up, so go back to your little nerd cave and come up with some zombies or something to train those lasers on, or better yet, something that hasn't been completely over played over the last three years, like werewolves. There hasn't been a good werewolf movie since Teen Wolf Too, and I can't think of any major werewolf video games offhand.

So here's how it will work. We'll take your lasers and mirrors and use them to set traps for werewolves. I'm not sure it there are any established standards for werewolf bait. Scantily clad women seem to work for most monsters and will boost the game's appeal to pubescent males. Players will have to position mirrors as to create a barrier around the maiden before the werewolf can get to her. This will keep the thinky think aspect and add either a gruesome werewolf feeding or a bloody werewolf death.

All of this, of course, hinges on whether or not werewolves are vulnerable to lasers. I haven't been able to locate any research on the matter, but I suspect a laser would beat any mystical creature any day.

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