Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Day 58: Aah! Harimanada

It's a good thing overweight people are the one group it's still socially acceptable to make fun of in this country, because this game's got more fat guys in it than the line at a $4.99 all you can eat buffet. I haven't seen this much raw tonnage concentrated in one spot since the last time Oprah Winfrey went on safari.

Okay, enough kidding around. To most of the world, sumo wrestling is just a bunch of fat guys in big diapers shoving each other around. To the small minority who truly understand it, sumo is the tradition rich, highly disciplined sport of fat guys in big diapers shoving each other around. The programmers responsible for Aah! Harimanada definitely fall into the majority. According to them, sumo is a sport of fat guys charging blindly at each other and pounding buttons, hoping to stumble upon the combination that will throw the other fat guy out of the ring but usually failing and getting thrown out themselves.

If you find other fighting and wrestling games to complex, Aah! Harimanada, with its small playing area and moveset that consists entirely of slapping and grabbing, might be just the game for you. However, you would be in the minority, along with people who like Intellivision controllers and bought a Lynx instead of a Game Boy. In a perfect world, it would be socially acceptable for me to publicly ridicule you people but, unless you're also grossly obese, I will have to keep my disgust to myself. For now.

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