Van Van Car is not, and I'm sure I'm not the only one disappointed to learn this, a strange Japanese version of Duck Duck Goose. Van Van Car is, in fact, so brutally unimaginative that I won't even waste time describing it. I'll just show you a picture.
My disappointment has led to inspiration. Not every child has siblings or lives in a neighborhood with a lot of other kids and wide open spaces. What do these kids do when they want to play Four Square or Red Rover? For now they do nothing, but I imagine a future in which they can play Intense Online Hopscotch against players from around the world. Here are just a few of the games I plan to include in my proposal to potential investors:
Dellwayne Robinson Xtreme Duck Duck Goose '09 Named for the fastest kid in my elementary school, DRX 09, as it will be known, will feature the most realistic Duck Duck Goose gameplay to date and support for up to 10 players online. For those seeking a more fast paced game, the arcade mode will let players use a variety of power ups like Speed Boost and Untied Shoelaces.
ARRA (American Red Rover Association) Breakz Inspired by the popular NFL Blitz series, ARRA Breakz will have super buff players and lots of intense, but child friendly, on screen violence. The intuitive, easy to master controls are sure to make this one a favorite of children of all ages.
Mother May I Revolution The ultimate game of exclusion, now playable by up to 16 online contestants. Baby steps, giant steps, even umbrella steps! All at the push of a button! Assuming Mother gives you permission, of course.
Smear the Queer: Street Flashy moves and flashier clothes are what it's all about on the Street. Players start as nobodies but work their way up the ladder to become King of the Neighborhood, earning valuable stickers along the way which can be traded for new outfits and new abilities.
All games will allow players to create their own online avatars for play, keep online stats and the Xbox 360 versions will even have achievements to earn. I plan to release all games as bargain titles, with prices starting at $19.99. Look for them in time for Christmas.