Monday, April 28, 2008

Day 57: Shark! Shark!

A sure-fire way to make anything instantly sound more urgent is to say it twice. The best part is, it works just as well with chipped fingernail as it does with a toaster fire.

Shark! Shark! has plenty of fake urgency, but no real urgency. Instead of a game full of mutant sharks charbroiling humans with laser eyebeams like a real video game would have, Shark! Shark! is just a bunch of sharks doing what sharks do in nature, which is eat everything that fits in their mouths. If I'm going to spend money on a video game, I don't want something I can see just by turning on the Discovery Channel.

At least let me control the shark, throw in a few tasty surfers and have Roy Schneider show up every now and then with a harpoon. That, children, is a video game.

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