Day 103: Action 52 Friday with Sharks

I'm going to go on record here and say that Sharks is the worst Action 52 game yet. If you're familiar with the Atari 2600 game Seaquest, it's a lot like that except instead of a constant onslaught of voracious sharks and enemy subs out to destroy me, there are a few well fed and apparently tame sharks completely ignoring me. Instead of Steve Zissou I'm Troy Lee Gentry.

About 75 percent of the time I spent playing Sharks was spent waiting for an actual shark to appear on the screen. When one finally did appear, it swam by on its predetermined path, completely oblivious to me and my harpoon gun. The game quickly jumps from too easy to impossible when the sharks are replaced with jellyfish, which appear and disappear at random positions on the screen, making them nearly impossible to hit.

As bad as this game is, I have discovered a use for it. The rockin' background tune would make great music for your next party. Since the sharks make no actual attempt to kill the diver, it should play indefinitely. Just run the audio through your stereo so you can turn your TV off. You don't want this burned into your screen.

Day 102: The Maze of Galious

Day 101: Geometry Wars Galaxies

I am continually amazed by Circuit City's ability to remain in business. Whenever I go there, I'm the only customer in the store, and I rarely end up actually buying anything. I assume everyone else is frightened off by the awkward layout, made worse by a recent reorganization of the store, and the poor customer service. On my last trip, I took my merchandise to a podium located in the geographic center of the store, marked with a large sign that read "Checkout" and was told to go to the desk marked "Returns." I fully expected to be sent right back, or to have the full purchase price of the item returned to me.


I was almost disappointed when the cashier rang up my copy of Geometry Wars Galaxies, clearance priced at seventeen dollars. At least now I'd finally get to see what all the hooplah was about. Not owning an Xbox 360 (I see no reason to pay 400 dollars for something that's jst going to stop working in a year), I never got to play the original Geometry Wars. The original "Retro Evolved" version of the game is on the Wii disc, along with the new "Galaxies," which is essentially the exact same game but with the added need to "unlock" things.

Geometry Wars is a good shooter, but it's no the best out there. It's not even as good as the classic games it's modeled after. The addition of levels and power ups to unlock adds nothing in my opinion (I think I've already mentioned somewhere how sick I am of having to "buy" half the features of any new game), but the score multiplier is a nice way to reward longevity and really boost scores. If I had paid full retail price for Galaxies, I would have been disappointed, but for 17 bucks, it's hard to go wrong.

Day 100: Torus Trooper

Torus Trooper could've had a story. Something about transdimensional aliens attacking through wormholes. It would have fit nicely on the first page of the instruction manual. The page everyone skips over on the way to the page that tells which buttons fire which weapons. That story was never written though, because all you need to know about Torus Trooper is go fast and shoot things.


This is a game that rewards speed. The faster you go, the more powerful your weapons. The more powerful your weapons, the more things you can kill. The more things you can kill, the quicker you get through each level. The quicker you get through each level, the more time you have for the next.

Like a cross between Tempest and Turbo, Torus Trooper sends you blasting your way through a cosmic roller coaster. Dying only matters because it takes away precious seconds and when the timer hits zero, the game is over.

This is a nice, retro style shooter that feels familiar without feeling like it blatantly ripped something off. The sense of speed is impressive, aided by a pounding soundtrack. Torus Trooper definitely does it right.

Day 99: Adventure II

Before there was Link, there was Yellow Square. Yellow Square had to retrieve the Enchanted Chalice, which had been stolen and hidden away. The Enchanted Chalice was very important to the people of the kingdom, as it had the power to keep beer cold indefinitely.


Like all good video game sequels, Adventure II stick with the basic premise of the original game and just spruces up the graphics and adds a new wrinkle here or there. Once again the Enchanted Chalice has been stolen and once again it's up to Yellow Square to find it. Also once again there are three hungry dragons roaming the countryside.


So you get the idea, right? There's a lot of the same. There are a few power ups now and a minotaur roams the maze, but most of the differences between Adventure and Adventure II are cosmetic.

Day 98: Kumoon

First person and second person shooters don't really appeal to me. Even those that I like I only like for the multiplayer mode, which suggests that I enjoy shooting my friends more that I enjoy the game specifically. Now I've got this second person shooter with no enemies, no multiplayer and to top it all off, it penalizes me every time I fire my weapon. Must be some kind of cutesy clever puzzle game.

Which is exactly what Kumoon is. Like Boom Blox, the goal is to knock a bunch of stuff over, but instead of using the Wii's motion controls, Kumoon uses standard shooter keyboard and mouse controls. And since each shot after the first penalizes you, you want to break as much stuff as possible with as few shots as possible.

Oh, I also dislike peeps, which the fuzzy chick protagonist strongly resembles. That's why this one's already in the trash can.

Day 97: Penguin Adventure